CONNIE.

    “ wherever you want to go, sam! i don’t care. “ connie’s face
    managed to light up quite a lot since no one had really wanted
    to take her out of the house. “ i’ll go get my purse and tell chris
    to keep an eye on harrison. “ she did that quickly and returned
    in the blink of an eye.

    “ shall we? “

      the wait is brief. connie returns much sooner than sam expected,
      but it doesn’t dampen the sunshiny attitude that begins to unveil
      on his face. he opens the door for her ( knowing it’d be well-locked
      once he closed it since he’s frequented this area, ) & gestures her
      to leave first. “after you,” the dimples become prominent.

        his car is parked in front of her home, a nice clean car to match
       with sam’s relatively clean appearance. 

CONNIE.

    connie hadn’t really been out of the house for a while, so
    what would the damage be. “ of course, sam. i wouldn’t
    mind! what kind is it? “

      he’s definitely relieved it wouldn’t take some convincing.
      “italian. unless, you wanna try japanese. i’ve tried sushi
       before– it’s not that bad,” he smiles, “i could get your
       coat? it’s pretty chilly outside.”

herjunior.

    “ no, we could do it now, sam. i don’t have anything
    better to do right now. “

    “are .. you sure? um, okay. i was wondering if you’d
    want to.. go out to a restaurant–” a pause, he clears
    his throat before mustering a smile, “with me?”

herjunior

      connie? do you .. wanna do something– um, with me?
       sometime? it doesn’t have to be now, you know. 

connie.

    feeling the hand grasp at her shoulder made her swiftly spin
    around. it was both of their places to apologize, but she didn’t
    want him to because it had always been her fault in the end. 
    some fault always found its way to her, even if the problem 
    didn’t sprout from her own hands in the beginning. he didn’t
    finish his sentence and she was about to ask him to finish it,
    but it’d be best to drop it since it seemed like he was trying to
    as well.

    “ sure. there’s not much to carry, “ her reply was short and 
    subtle as she began to walk back into harrison’s room. as 
    her son was still playing, she took him out of the room for
    a moment and knelt down to tell him what was happening.
    “ harrison, mommy and sam are going to put the paints in
    the kitchen, if you need them as me or sam. “ and harrison
    was to point out how his room wasn’t messy, but connie had
    quickly shushed him since that part was true and sam wasn’t
    to know.

       confidence is the only thing about him that wavers when it
       comes to connie. it most certainly isn’t a good thing. there
       have been words, or at least forms of thoughts he’s been
       meaning to lace together into a coherent whole, but, no matter
       how many times he’s assured, it seems, there’s no going to
       open up completely right then and there. so without much
       grace nor dignity left, sam scoops up whatever pieces were left
       & follows after her.

       he walks to the door, knocking before entering. he sees connie
       with her child, but still remains in the dark of the conversation
       that ensued between them right then before entering. “so, uh..
       what should i carry?” he offers a smile still tinged with awkwardness
       that had yet to wipe off.

connie.

    to connie, sam was always the one to be worrisome, but in
    the end become comforting. sometimes she had wondered
    how much that took a toll on him because she knew that it
    could sometimes be exhausting. balancing two very differing
    emotions took a toll and she had to give all the props to him.

    though, here she was again, back in arms of someone she 
    so loved. connie always ended up in someone’s arms, but
    now it only felt different because his arms felt like matt’s. it 
    could’ve been a dangerous situation, but beneath all the an-
    ger bestowed within the lowest parts of her aching body, she
    missed him. she missed matthew and his arms that grasped 
    around her didn’t help much. what set it off was that light peck
    to her temple. 

    connie didn’t think of it as any sign of love or not even admiration.
    it was almost in the moment, his way of saying another silent “it’s
    okay”. connie pulled away for a second, eyes extra shimmery from
    the tears that had begun to burn at her at the bottom of her eyes. 
    she was silent, but soon ( upon the tips of her toes ) gotten close
    to sam’s face and returned the kiss on his cheek, but close enough
    to touch the corner of his lips.

    “ i hope he won’t be mad, “ she responded, no smile growing on 
    her facade. she was almost emotionless, caught in her own thoughts
    again yelling at her.

                           “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” 

      it’s a platonic gesture, he thinks, his mind dead-set on believing
      it. although, his heart differs with its subtle beats that turn not-so
      whenever he’s around connie. he built this large dam of trust
      that’s meant to fill with her care, her friendship, & a little room
      stored for something more intimate which he doesn’t know is still
      being held for another. another who was elsewhere & disconnected
      without any idea where. it’s not even a thought that crosses his
      mind as he lifts his head, loosening his grasp, to be met with connie’s lips.

oh.

      this foreign temptation to hold her close is kicking at him, starting to
      hurt with the urge to, but he refrains. it’s a little bit due to what she’s
      said as his personal image of the man came to mind. matt.

    “y–.. yeah. he,” his voice trails off, shame making a recurrence in one
     fell swoop & snatching any confidence for his gestures away, “i hope
     not either.” there’s a laugh, false, feigned, let out after being
     generated in rashness of the situation. 

     he assumes the lack of emotion is in part of the constant stream of
     questions sent to connie earlier; it’s also what he hopes.

herjunior:

pygrny same holding connie while stroking her hair and lightly singing “you are my sunshine” after she had a panic/anxiety attack ok bYE GOODNIGHT

connie.

    thin, long, skinny hands that were a bit shaky went to both
    sides of sam’s face, worry still dressing her features and a
    tooth biting onto her bottom lip. they lightly kept their grasp
    on his face, hoping that the shuttering of her hands weren’t
    to disturbing. “ just paint, i promise. “ and she wasn’t even
    sure if he was just saying that because he wanted to get 
    away from the situation.

    “ i’m so sorry, sam, “ she then went into for a hug, her body
    still weak. she felt so bad that he had come into her life, she
    felt so bad that so much of her weight was put on him. there
    was always something so good in her life and she had to go
    on and show this part of herself. god, did she hate it, but a
    sliver of hope was always hanging onto her hand, telling her
    to keep trying. 

      this shield, this avoidance to delve deeper into the worrisome
      thoughts stayed true to its position. it deflected anymore
      suspicions & sam was oddly okay with that. at least for the
      meantime. how long could he avoid these recurring issues
      though? he isn’t sure. 

     “if you say so..”

      sam wraps his arms around her frame, draped around lightly
      but tight enough to keep her close. there’s always a part of
      him that will always prefer her, troubles & all. throwing it all
      away over something that could be made by paranoia is not
      part of his plans anytime soon.

     “it’s okay,” he answers, voice growing soft as he lightly
      kisses her temple. “maybe it’s about time you move the paint
     out of his room,” he jokes, tightening the hug.

matthew.

open

    “ oh, come on, that’s not even half the fun! “

   ‘ yeah, but it’s .. kinda safer, too. ‘